Reply to Old friend (well of 10-15 years) is ghosting me and I don’t know why…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let it go. Let her go. Let her write to you, which she may or may not do. If she can't use her words, then move on. If she is somehow upset with you but can't say, "I have to let you know that it upset me when you ---" then she isn't comfortable in her own skin. When honesty and directness are missing, there is no friendship worth having, sorry. I'm not going to stick around to play guessing games or mind games with a person. Life is too short for that nonsense.[/quote]

I think you are just a different sort of person who is far more direct and never would put yourself in a position to be someone who got repeatedly leaned on for support, and in turn didn't give back. To provide helpful advice of the sort you seem to want to give, you really have to start at the genesis of the peoples' personalities that gets them into these relationships in the first place. Many people ghost because they have gone so far down the rabbit hole of the one-sided relationship that it isn't just one thing. It's the build up that eventually becomes overwhelming, and having a discussion about the overall situation that has gone on for years is never received well in that space. And then they make excuses or get defensive.

To me the bigger question for those of us who have ghosted people is why did we allow ourselves to get into these longterm, one-sided relationships in the first place. I think we initially got something out of being the strong one, the helpful one, etc. But eventually we realize how the person just wants to vent or always needs to have support and what we have provided isn't really all that helpful to anyone, especially not ourselves when we realize we are being sucked dry.

The very long way of saying that someone with a strong sense of self worth won't allow themselves to stay in a long-term one-sided relationship. It took me a very long time to understand that about myself. [/quote]

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