Reply to How many physical falls are acceptable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Coming back to update that my father has now fallen 3x in a week's time. Falls in which he thankfully did not break anything but had to have assistance to get back up (called EMTs 2x and a neighbor the 3rd time). It is so upsetting to get the after-the-fact calls from him, but I have re-read all of the posts here and they make me feel better. He is INSISTING on remaining at home and will not even discuss additional help in any form. Hangs up on me when I bring alternatives up to him. Lovely, huh?

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my OP as your posts continue to help me.[/quote]

OP, I think it would be helpful if you were clear about the fact that your father does not live alone - he is married and his wife is living with him. Assumption is that this is not your mother.

That has significant bearing on this entire situation.  Is your dad's wife similarly aged? Does she have health issues too? Is she overwhelmed? Is she at risk trying to take care of your father?

I am curious as to why you have not mentioned her involvement in all your posts, you focus entirely on your father. He is not living in a vacuum nor is his situation affecting just him. No matter how you feel about his wife, you must consider her in this equation.

[/quote]

OP here. A fair point. My father lives with his partner. We do not have a close relationship although she sometimes calls me to tell me that my father has fallen again. Her health is very good. Swims everyday kind-of-good. She does the basics for him as she always has, food shopping, laundry, prep dinner, but for the vast majority of each day she is out of the house and living her life which she of course has every right to do. She has family nearby and helps take care of her grandchildren. When she is in the house she and my father barely interact which, again, is her choice and I have always tried to stay out of the workings of their relationship.

It is she who makes it possible for him to remain in the house. She keeps the house running so he is technically able to remain but for the majority of the time, they are living separate lives. Again, their relationship is their business. She seems fine with the current arrangement and honestly so does he. If you ask them, they would tell you that it is I who needs to mind my own business. I just see things escalating with his falling down and was wondering if other elderly experience the same amount. When I wrote the OP I wondered if perhaps weekly bad falls were just a part of late aging? From the replies here I see that it is not.

As a PP had said upthread that my father is choosing "freedom over safety" and I do think I need to be at peace with that. I do understand it is his decision. It is just hard to watch even from afar.[/quote]

This would all be fine and unworthy of discussion if they were not calling 911 several times a week for his falls.  By your own description, she lacks the strength to help him move around.  [b]Please look into bringing help into the home so your father is adequately taken care of[/b].[/quote]

If only it were that simple - lol! 
Ok, thanks everyone for your help. I do genuninely appreciate it.[/quote]

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