Reply to s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?

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Reply to "s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP. Thank you to everyone for some very good advice, and especially to those who have BTDT.

14:59: My subject is probably inappropriately worded, but I certainly do not want to negotiate my in-laws' gift terms, so relax.[b] This is way less about money than it is about my marriage. It is normal to go through a lot of different feelings while in the beginning stages of processing something major like this.[/b][/quote]

Why is your marriage a concern?  Why is this "something major"?   All that sees to have happened is that your inlaws gave you guys some extra money that might enhance and enrich your life - not change it.   That's all it is.    If you put that much importance on money - the problem lies with you.

[/quote]

I agree with this point: Why is this "something major?" You don't need the money to live.  you know from your DH whether he is the frugal type or is he going to go out and buy a Ferrari.  My DH has about $500k (not $2m of course) that he brought into the marriage that he keeps in a separate stock account (but I see the statements).  He doesn't talk about it, it doesn't change how much we save for retirement, college, etc.  So I don't see how this is a big life event at all.  It is only if you make it one.[/quote]

OP here. No offense meant, but if you've never experienced this, then you have no way of knowing. If anyone had given me this hypothetical scenario and asked me to predict my reaction, I never would have guessed that this would be it. DH also has about $500k in a separate stock account from before we were married and I have never given it a second though.[/quote]

I'm 23:00 - I absolutely know about this experience.

I've received inheritance.
I've set up trusts for my children similar to your husbands - except larger.
I buy and sell businesses...so the same issue applies to businesses, the money they make, AND THE WAY THEY RUN
I help people to set up their estates.

Somehow you need to remove your personal pride from the equation.   It is clear that you feel insulted or marginalized...but not happy.  Frankly I can't understand how someone could see this as being anything but "good".    The money can provide family security for you.   BUT your ego is getting in the way of seeing that.  You seem to want a gift, but only if it's gifted under your terms and conditions.

The alternative is that the gift can be withdrawn.

Is that really a better scenario for you?

Good luck my dear - I hope you make a good decision.  It's a very good thing that's happened for your family. [/quote]

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