Reply to s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?

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Reply to "s/o: trusts & large sums of money gifted to both spouses, or just one?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted on the other thread about best use of trust fund money. DH & I were married last year. In December, DH's mom told me they still had a wedding present for us but it was taking awhile to pull together. When DH & I visited MIL over the holidays, she told him (when I was not present), that they had made arrangements for a $2 million trust. I am not sure if this is supposed to be our wedding gift or not, but the paper work for it came last week and it is in his name only. I assume it is not our wedding gift, but am not sure and don't think there is a good way to find out. Thus, I feel like DH gets final say on whether we use some of the money for a down payment on a house or not.

In addition, his father gave us about $15k toward a down payment on a house, presented to both of us, but again written out to only DH.

I have wonderful relationships with all of my in-laws, and obviously will not go looking a gift horse in the mouth. I'm feeling a little weird about this being DH's money and not mine, though. He seems to not want to touch any of it. I disagree, and if it were up to me we would use a chunk of it for a down payment on a home, then not touch any of the rest. For now I have not pushed the issue at all, just giving both of us time to digest it, so we have only briefly talked about it. The feeling is difficult to explain -- almost like a sudden power imbalance? (FWIW, my DH is a wonderful man and would involve me in any decisions, but that feeling of him getting the final say is still there).

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, maybe just a place to vent since I would never mention this to my friends or family.

Is it normal for gifts that are intended to be for both spouses to only be written out to one spouse? [/quote]

No, it is not normal for a gift to both spouses to be only written out to one.  In your case, from the way the two gifts were presented, it would appear that the $15K down payment was your wedding gift so it would be entirely appropriate for your DH to put it in a joint account until you buy a house together.  However, the $2 million is meant to be in your husband's control. However nice that your in- laws are, they are intentionally excluding you from this trust fund.  It does set up an inequality in your relationship but your husband can use it to spend on family expenses so that your other funds can go towards retirement and personal expenses.   [/quote]

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