Reply to Question for adoption moms whose children sought out their birth mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did you feel if your child found their birth mom and decided to meet? Going through this now with my adopted late 20's DD and have a variety of emotions going on, including feeling insulted as this other woman gave her up for adoption while I raised her.[/quote]

You’re *insulted*?!?!

You GOT to raise this woman’s baby.  You got 3 decades with her that her birth mother wasn’t able to have and that their reunion now, no matter how joyful or successful, can never make up.  You got ALL that and you dare to be insulted?!!!  How astonishingly selfish and stupid can you be?

Your DD’s birth mother has had so much loss for three decades.  If you have love and decency in you (yet to be proven) and the birth mom has love and decency, what you accept is that your daughter’s family now expands to more fully include her birth family.  You ROOT for this all to go well and for her to consider that she has two loving mothers now.  You fully appreciate the gift you have had in exclusive “mothering” status for three decades and you accept the reality that your daughter does have another mother who may have been suffering and grieving all this time separated from your daughter.

You root for the best case scenario for your daughter, that she had a positive and enriching reuinion with someone who can be a positive addition to her life.  You wish her well.  You embrace a bigger family circle.

I’m someone whose sisters were lost to me through adoption but who are in reunion with us now, to our great joy.  My middle sister has an adoptive mom who fully embraced her daughter’s curiosity about her first  family and encouraged and supported reunions.  She cried with joy on the phone the first day we found out each other existed. She invited me to come stay with them on our first phone call.  She said it was like getting a bonus daughter to find out I existed.

nMy first sister did not have a supportive adoptive fam at all and is now estranged nfsllnofnyrkzxnn fff[/quote]

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