Reply to How did your husband react to your job loss?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are plenty of women that decide to stay at home and their DH makes it work and supports their decision. Some of these men are blue-collar and make much less money and have much less security than your DH. It sounds like it is definitely possible and feasible for you to stay at home and your DH can make it happen, but he’s apprehensive.

He does not want to be the breadwinner and does not want you to be financially dependent on him in a major way. You need to investigate further about his apprehension. Don’t listen to other women on this post claiming it’s normal and brushing it off. It’s not normal and if your DH can afford for you to stay at home he should be okay with you doing that.

It’s a lot easier for a man to divorce you if you have your own income…You need to have a serious talk with him about why he doesn’t want to retire you.[/quote]

You nailed my fear. He wants to be able to divorce me, and if I'm unemployed, it would be more expensive.

Also, most of what we spend is because of choices he made, like he pressured me into buying an expensive house because he cares more about appearances than I do, he has a car loan (I've always paid cash), he's chosen to support his parents and not ask his siblings to help, and he has an expensive hobby.

I never get a break. I carry the mental and most of the physical load of parenting plus work.  We eat take out and instead of relaxing on the weekend, I catch up on household chores that we can't get to during the work week. There is only so much you can outsource.  More than anything, I am mentally burnt out from the mental load of parenting and working. Why not let him carry the stress of our family finances? If we divorced, which seems to be my biggest risk, I would be fine living on half our assets and supplementing with a hobby job, like teaching in some capacity.  I could live in a cozier house, cook at home with the extra time, and be content with more time and fewer things.  He's the one who can't cut back, not me. [/quote]
So your marriage is already shaky?[/quote]

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