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[quote=Anonymous]

OP this isn't just her struggle. You find it hard to be an emotional support for her and you worry a lot about enabling. If you want to be able to be there for her in a way that you think is helpful, then I would suggest sorting it out with a therapist. It would probably just be a few sessions or an occasional session.

If it's too much for you, then you need to figure out what boundaries you want, but keep in mind it may change the relationship. I had a mother who could not be emotionally supportive. Someone suggested chatting while making dinner-my mother usually did something else while on the phone, so I stopped calling because she could not multitask.

It's different because my mother emotionally dumped on me my entire life which made me think we were close-I supported her.It took me a while to figure out she just could not be an emotional support. She tuned out or did something else when I talked. She tried to offer quick solutions and her advice is really poor.

So my friends were my support and I got therapy when needed. I am a happy, well-functioning adult and am not close to my other at all. I finally set boundaries with all her emotional dumping which upset her greatly. I miss nothing about emotionally supporting her from the time I could talk.

So as you figure out how to handle this, also figure out if you want a relationship that isn't very close. You don't have to feel trapped listening, but you do need to figure out what you want and how to get there and therapy can help.[/quote]

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