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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For elementary school school lottery, we only told a few friends of the lottery results, no one at our existing IB school.  Told friends at IB school in the weeks leading up to the new school year.  Told our kids the week before school started.  
For middle school, we told our kid that night, and discretely told friends in the weeks after, mainly trying to figure out who would be joining at the new school (BASIS).  But don't do what some of the 4th grade parents did on our school's WhatsApp group - broadcast to the whole grade who got into Latin or how high their kid's spot was on the waitlist.  [/quote]

I’m the PP who opted for honesty - I think it’s crappy to not tell the other elementary families until August. What is your rationale for that?[/quote]

Because there is/was a cohort of families who are judgmental of families who lottery out of the school. I didn't want to deal with that drama when we still had to see them every school day (it's a small school community).  [/quote]

A year from now, you will barely remember these families. [/quote]

I wouldn't go this far but yes, everyone moves on.

An observation from someone who moved a kid from a school like this (with a small cohort of families who were very judgmental of anyone who lotteried out) is that the mere existence of a cohort like this is evidence of the problems at the school. We moved to a school with a lot more IB buy-in and better retention year to year. And guess what, that school doesn't have a cohort of judgmental parents giving side eye to anyone who might leave this school. In fact, at our new elementary, kids leave for various reasons all the time (got into a charter that starts at 5th, moved to private, parents are moving, etc.) and there's really no judgment or anger. Sometimes sadness at saying goodbye to friends, but people are wished well and everyone moves on.

The reason why is that people feel good about this school. If a family leaves for whatever reason, that doesn't change what people like about the school. Whereas at our old school, there was intense pressure to stay because of this perception that even one or two IB families leaving could make or break a cohort. That sucks! I hated it. I'm so glad to now be at a school where people are not examining our choices that much and, while we feel welcome at the school, no one is counting on us to make the exact same choices they will make. It is so nice to get rid of that pressure. We also feel less pressure and resentment over things like attending school wide events (lots of people go to all of them, if you miss some for a conflict or just too tired, no one cares), participating in PTO (lots of involvement, makes it easier to give/volunteer where you can and not feel like the whole thing depends on your participation all the time), etc. It's just a more functional environment.[/quote]

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