Reply to Talk to me about your gray divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I plan to have expensive long-term health insurance and am saving for that now so my kids won't be burdened with those issues in old age. A nurse will come to my home as needed. There could still be things that come up but I'm hoping it won't be the same as what you're going through. [/quote]

Okay... You say that now. But still you're dumping care for your ex on your kids. I guess they could estrange but that's putting your children to a very hard choice.

The more awful you tell us your ex is, the harder it's going to be for your kids to deal with him in your stead. That's what you're choosing for them.

I think the most important thing in gray divorce is to be clear-eyed, see things for what they are (especially finances) and own that it impacts others in many ways. Denying it will make your kids lose respect for you.[/quote]
Oh well, that’s what having a dud as a father gets you.

Dumped on or you set strong boundaries and let him dump on himself.

-NP[/quote]

Right, I just magically have a dud of a father and my mom's choices played no role in that happening...
[/quote]

Are you saying your mom made your dad, an upstanding man, a jerk?  What a powerful woman![/quote]

No, he was always a jerk. She chose him, had me with him, and now is dumping him on me. She can get a new husband but estranged or not estranged, jerk or non-jerk, he's my only dad.[/quote]

I’ll tell you a secret.  You don’t have to put up with jerks.  Even your own father.[/quote]

I resent that the problem, which I never chose, is being dumped on me by the person who did choose it. Putting up with a jerk or being estranged from my own father is a terrible choice to have to make. It's not as easy as you make it sound. Especially because he's really nice to my kids for some reason.[/quote]
Happens all the time with mentally disordered or addict or criminal parents. You set boundaries like limiting time, no calls, no bail outs, no money or loans, etc. 
Of course a narc is nice and manipulative of your kids. Duh. They’re pawns. [/quote]

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