Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are the parents both senile and incapacitated? Why can't OP work out with the parents what they need? If they are both incapacitated then they need a nursing home. Just talk to the parents and figure it out.[/quote]

Do you people read anything? Or are you all lack comprehension skills? She said her mom won't let her be involved. Brother won't tell her how she can help, then calls her up last minute saying he's leaving town.

This is a two way street, people.[/quote]

Look, if you're not able to talk to your parents or have a civil relationship with your family then it's not your brother's fault or the fact that he's "angry" he has such a bum and useless sibling. The parents don't like OP and OP doesn't like them and we don't really know why. Seems nobody wants the help that OP isn't up to giving anyway.[/quote]

I think you are speaking from a place of plenty of money, kids out of school, no work obligations, trying to save for college....

They don't get along. She wants to help and doesn't know how. I'm the PP who is in the thick of this and it took me time to figure it out and I've stopped my entire life to do this. I also understand that not everyone has the ability to do what I've done.

Calling OP a bum and useless sibling makes you sound like a troll. Or maybe you're the a-hole poster who people probably hate IRL because you're so bossy and abrasive. But the only way to help OP is to take into consideration her limitations vis a vis her own obligations in another city and the reality of her relationship with her family. [/quote]

Yada, yada. I was the sibling caring for a dying mother with cancer and my not local brother was calling with the 'what can I do' stories. I finally told him to send money since he couldn't make the time. The money was used to hire an aide to help out. OP has to be inconvenienced a little either with time or money and frankly isn't doing either. This is what it takes.[/quote]

Op here

My parents are the ones with money. They already have had 24/hour aide coverage set up and managed by me (they paid for it) for the past few years. That plan remains the same when they return to their apartment.

My brother is giving his time, definitely. He's not contributing financially to their care.

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