Reply to Disappointment over milestone gift

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree OP it's obnoxious. You can't even return them because they are monogrammed and it's the rare 13-year-old who would enjoy that gift. i also agree there is nothing you can say. I would not have him lie and say how much he loves the gift in the note. Just write "thank you for the monogrammed cufflinks. I appreciate you attending and I enjoyed seeing you."

My FIL lives in one of the most expensive towns in the US. When we married his wife-DH's stepmom spent under $100 getting plates off our registry and she included her adult daughter and the daughter's date on the gift-so it was from 4 people. Meanwhile for every milestone she had her daughter collect money from DH and his siblings to get her specific gifts she requested all together and then present this gift to her or to both of them (if it was an anniversary) at a party she threw. She would then act surprised. She also inherited everything after he passed.

I have a no gift policy for just about everything because both DH's family and mine play strange games with gifts. The thing is they now do it with people who still accept gifts and then complain they didn't think the thank you note was effusive enough or the person had the nerve to return it or a laundry list of other things. The wealthier ones are usually the strangest like getting some ugly thing from TJ Maxx that looks like a cheap knockoff of something on a registry, placing it in a box from the store on the registry and then not leaving a gift receipt. That's a lot of effort to give someone something they don't want. And yes, it isn't about the gifts, but why would you put so much effort into getting someone something useless.[/quote]

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