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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife 100% cared deeply for my mental health and happiness and supported me when I left the private sector for a govt job that drastically cut pay (similar to what you are proposing). She also supported me when I came back into the private sector because I understood that I needed to make more money and needed a more dynamic job. That support has meant everything to me, and for what it's worth, I have for years now made high six figures/low seven figures, and we are obviously quite comfortable. In addition to the moral support, she is also committed to living below our means so that there is always an exit when/if things get crazy again. This support has meant everything to me, and I think I have repaid that with good financial decisions.[/quote]

I am the wife in a situation very much like this. OP, assuming that your husband is not in a mental health crisis/needs a different intervention (ie, that the job is really the root of the problem), the very best thing you can do right now is figure out what your 'cut to the bone' budget is. Share it with your spouse. Explain that you are willing to support whatever it takes to get him out of the current job BUT that it might/will mean significant lifestyle changes for a while (less/no travel, less/no eating out, no shopping, fewer kid activities, no hobby spending, cutting back on college savings, cutting back on retirement savings, selling a car, moving, etc.).

We went from a $250k to $115k household income (private sector to government) when I was a SAHP to two little kids. It was very, very tight for the next few years. But it was also the move that set my husband's career on a really great trajectory that has led to a lot of happiness - and some wealth.[/quote]

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