Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You told your father-in-law that your wife wouldn’t be paying back a family loan? No wonder he’s pissed.[/quote]

OP here.  She would not be paying it back with marital income. Since she is now back in school and not earning income that means that I would not be making payments on it with my income.[/quote]

That’s not how debt works. Jesus, I would hate you too.[/quote]

Yes, did you also inform the mortgage company, car payment place, and credit card that you would cease making payments after marriage? I hate to say it, but you sound like a dick.

“We shouldn’t split the bill because you ordered something more expensive than me?” You are not some poor 21 year old. When you are established and well off, you don’t complain about splitting restaurant bills, it is pathetic.[/quote]

This. For the first part of the post, I was prepared to side with OP, but then it really went sideways.  His complaints appear to be that:

- His FIL made an arrangement with his wife re financing her education that OP didn't like, and so he reneged on it when they married.  That's a complaint that the FIL should have, not OP.  
- [b]His FIL doesn't pay for him when they vacation and or eat at expensive restaurants.  [/b]

In the immortal words of Cameron, "Pardon my French, but you're an a$$hole!"  [/quote]

The key part of this is the FIL insists on the expensive restaurants and trips and gets mad if OP and wife decline. Keep declining/suggesting alternatives and let them get mad. Get separate checks when you do go to the expensive place.

And I agree with PP that the dad's agreement re the loan was unfair to start with. They could afford to pay for the school. If they didn't want to, they should have been clear about the budget and made her pick a lower cost school vs keeping her under their thumb for the rest of her life with this "loan." Or made her contribute during school from her own work (maybe this did happen.) [/quote]

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