Reply to My 18 year old just got 2 tattoos

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[quote=Anonymous]I was in this situation a year ago and sympathize with OP.

I am not a controlling mother. Far from it. My DD has always had a lot of freedom. And it was not an issue of "tell them not to do something and they will." In fact, the mistake I made was not being open - not admitting to judging people with tattoos when I really do (many of her friends). I tried to model accepting behavior, but it wasn't always truly how I felt. I felt those friends made stupid, impulsive decisions. But I always welcomed into my home and did not outwardly judge.

Lots of earrings? Brightly colored hair? Nose rings? I have no problem with them, because they're temporary. But tattoos are permanent, and 18 years olds are idiots. I honestly wish they'd raise the age to 21. Even three years would help a lot of these "I just turned 18" tattoos.

I completely relate to the not being able to eat, sleep, etc. My DH totally disagreed with me, which also made it harder. He was fine with it. Sees it as something 18 year olds do. This was hard, because as a general rule, we are on the same page, and certainly when it has come to parenting. Now I know some people will say this isn't a parenting issue - because they're 18 - but it is. It was a parenting fail because my DD truly doesn't get that, while people SHOULDN'T judge, they do. And sometimes those people are the ones in power to give you a job, loan, help, etc.

Also, to all the people who claim it's about them and not you, tattoos in visible places are meant to be seen. There is a saying "tattoos are for the wearer, not the starter." That's BS. People get them to be seen - and 18 year olds almost exclusively do.

I am still having problem's with my DD's tattoo. It has changed the way I see her. She does not know this (although she knows I don't like it - but I have said it's because I don't like them overall). The reality is, I don't trust her to make good decisions, which is scary now that she is away at college.

But I love her, and I'm trying to see past this. If she comes to me one day and wants to get it removed, I will pay.

OP, you are not alone in feeling this way - but you were right not to post on DCUM. Not because everyone here is pro-tattoo but because they are programmed to attack. if you had posted and said your DS got tattoos and you love them, everyone would have chimed in with why they're awful.[/quote]

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