Reply to MIL keeps competing with my mom for time with my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it is YOUR job to make sure grandchild time is equal. Grandparents don’t have “rights”.  I would not listen to her jabs about your parents. Call her out. “Lillian, why would you say something like that?” Is her snarky talk reserved for you only?  I suspect you are too polite.   Going forward, communicating with grandma is your husband’s job too.  Next time you want to invite her to a kid event or dinner, i[b]nsist that he do the asking/coordinating[/b]. [/quote]

If he wants. I would say “DH it’s Larla’s spring show next Tuesday, if you want to invite your mom” and let him decide. Honestly a lot of these men seem well aware their moms are awful and that’s why they’re not the ones engaging, have respect for the views of the one who spent his whole childhood with this person. You don’t think she just now started making petty comments do you?[/quote]

What kind of coddling does your husband need? He doesn't know when the show is? Needs to be told to invite is mommy? [/quote]
So which is it? So many mixed messages in this post.

Let’s say I open my kid’s backpack and see the note informing us about the spring show.

Do I just… not tell my husband? No, of course I inform him.

Now, do I nudge him to invite his mom?

If I nudge, I coddling

If I don’t nudge, it’s excluding MIL

If I invite her myself, well, that’s DH’s job

But I’d DH doesn’t, then he is a dud and I should have just invited her myself

But if I do, that’s my DH’s job

And if I don’t, then I’m deliberately excluding her

The wife just can not win no matter what she does. She will be blamed either way! [/quote]

The grandparents don't need to participate in every fart your kid has. Dial it back a notch.[/quote]
It was one example. Insert whatever pleases you: first birthday party, championship game, violin recital, graduation, bris. Whatever. The truth stands that the woman never wins. [/quote]

If you choose to live that local to your family, that's the price you pay. You take the good with the bad. If you've set the expectation that they all have to come to everything then you've created a bad situation. The other parents are annoyed that the grandparents come and hog all the seats and make it hard for them to see their own kids perform because of all the grandparent phones in the air. Just stop.[/quote]
You’re right. Grandparents have no business attending birthday parties, graduations, or religious rites. Noted. [/quote]

Well if they have the right then what's the problem? Invite them. You have to pick a side. If you're on the side that they need to attend everything then you have to follow through.[/quote]

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