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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"They’re all really nice people..." OP, they are nice to YOU. They were not nice and accepting to your mother. I had to cut my entire birth family off because they so emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive to me. I had an older sibling once tell me when I was a teenager how they didn't understand why I was even born. But these same relatives who tried to snuff out my existence would happily engage my children, who I exposed to them irregularly. They would send cards and gifts to my kids, but never to me. Please keep in mind that they once celebrated my birthday growing up. Are you beginning to glimpse the abuse cycle? Abusive families will be nice to the children of the children/siblings/nieces/nephews of the people they abused. They still send my kids cards even thought I went no contact, as an eff you...to me. They are nice to my kids, but were horrible to me. It's a furtherance of the abuse cycle. We, as your mother, will never fully tell you what we went through because it would make you cry. Believe your mother.[/quote]

Projecting much?  Why do you assume the family was abusive to OP's mom?  My mom has always had a strained relationship with a couple of her siblings, but honestly it goes both ways.  She would complain about her siblings not doing enough elder care for my grandma in her later years.  But when they offered to take on more, my mom would criticize them for not doing it exactly like she did.  e.g., aunt would take grandma to doctor's appointment and my mom was upset that aunt didn't "ask more questions."  When I'd ask my mom if she gave aunt a list of questions to ask, she didn't, and then would rant about how if ant had been more involved she'd just know what questions to ask. etc. etc.   So then my mom would go back to wanting to do it all herself and complain about the lack of help.  She would really benefit from some therapy.[/quote]
If your mom always had a strained relationship with them, likely there was more to the story that you weren’t privy to, from when she was young. The strife in adulthood could be mirroring the feelings from those earlier experiences. Agree with you about therapy. —dp[/quote]

Sure probably but at some point people need to grow up or get help.  My mom had no problem asking my aunts to babysit us (for free) when we were young, or designating them as our godparents (!) but then when I get home from college I'm not supposed to go visit them because tt hurt her feelings.  I'm sorry but no, I'm not abandoning a relationship with family just because she no longer benefits from it.[/quote]

It sounds like you are really against your mom and also that you totally side with your aunts. WTF. If I had to guess, i would say your mom took the high road while your aunts trash talked her to you, and your opinions are the result.[/quote]

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