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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I was not an absentee father but always present in my kids life. picking up and dropping kids, staying up during nights but she didn't. I also am coach of my son's basketball team and always take care of their logistics. I am also the main contact of all the kids school and pre-school activities. This is on top of me being very busy and also covering all of the financial support of the family. The most unreasonable request she has is to not give me any time with kids after our divorce and asking to keep everything in divorce and for me to cover all the nannies request and other expenses when she don't want to work in the future. She has been a very overbearing and controlling mother and kids are stressed and I feel for them. [/quote]

TBH, if you can document the participation you claim (and probably even if you can't,) you will get 50/50 custody, so "not giving you any time with the kids" isn't going to happen.  She probably needs her own attorney to tell her that.

I don't know what "keep every thing in the divorce" means?  She gets half of every thing you earned and the equity increases in business and real estate. What is she asking to "keep"?  The house where you and the kids live with her?  Someone should keep it so that the kids have some stability and are only adjusting to one new home instead of 2.  But, again, her keeping the house doesn't mean that she also gets 100% custody of the kids.

What does "cover all the nannies requests and other expenses" mean?  If you want her to be able to go back to work, then you both have to pay for childcare which is usually done in proportion to incomes.  If she hasn't been working for 8 years, then it is reasonable that you would be paying a much greater share of childcare.  When one partner is much wealthier, then it is also the norm for the wealthier parent to pay for private school and college entirely or at a minimum in proportion to income difference.  If there are other expenses such as special needs care, tutors, expensive activities, etc., then at a minimum parents chip in based on proportional wealth.

You're a guy who has multiple start up pharma companies at least one of which is going to sale.  What are you nickel and diming her over?  Is she overbearing and controlling or are you punishing her for not sleeping with you?

Also, please be honest about your contribution -- it's great if you are really involved in the kids lives, but is it 50/50?  Are you doing half of medical appointments? Buying clothes, cooking food, cleaning, etc.? Is it a permanent commitment - or does she get left holding the bag when something calls you to the company (like a sale or some important development stage).

If you care about the kids and are committed to divorce, your best bet is to offer 50/50 custody (with you taking 50% of the weeks and 50% of the weekends and 50% of the vacations - not some shitty mom gets weekdays and dad gets weekends deal) with a 50/50 split on all assets, realized and as yet unrealized but benefitting from her 8 years in the marriage. Plus, if you are going to be much wealthier, picking up tuitions and other major expenses.  Your kids will eventually notice as they get older about the wealth differential and whether it seems fair to their mom.[/quote]

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