Reply to Is co parenting a woke male trap?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean this is why many women make the best of marriage. Once you have a kid, you are tied together for life. If there isn't abuse, it can make more sense to just figure out some kind of equilibrium that works, even if it's not fair, and make the best of it.

This is a major reason I chose to only have one kid. Once I discovered what my DH was like as a dad and realized how much would fall to me, I chose to keep my workload as low as possible. My one kid is pretty great though, and [b]I've also coached my DH into being a good father,[/b] so I feel I've done right by DD.[/quote]
Completely insane that women have to do this. Jesus.[/quote]

PP here and I agree with you -- it is nuts that this is what happened and I definitely went through a period of resentment over it.

But I worked through that and just accepted it, primarily because my DH proved coachable. Early on it was touch and go because it meant he had to level up in emotional maturity and when he was an overwhelmed new dad, I wasn't sure that was going to happen. But then it did, and things got incrementally better, and now we're honestly in a decent place. It's not 50/50 but he's still a "good dad" by 2026 standards, which includes taking a real interest in his child's life, spending time with his kid by his own volition and having largely positive interactions (not just arguing/being combative/criticizing/judging), and performing at least some of the caretaking like feeding, laundry, sticking to a schedule (the degree to which I've scaffolded his ability to do this is more extensive than our kid knows, but oh well, at least he's packing her a lunch sometimes even if it's using a system I set up for him to make it as easy and painless as possible).

The important thing to me is that our DD feels loved, valued, and respected by her dad. I did not have this growing up, or as an adult, and it's not great. It's one of the main reasons I stayed and it is the main reason I put the effort in to make this happen. It wasn't for him, it was for her. I know what it is to be ignored, neglected, and unloved by your dad, and when I realized I had (without meaning to) married someone who had a lot of the same parenting traits as my own dad, I just made it my mission to make sure DD had more than I did. It was worth it to me.[/quote]

I admire you.[/quote]
I doubt admire her. Enabling a man to be lazy and exploitative of women is just continuing a terrible cycle that has given us a society of losers. Her daughter is learning to think highly of men for doing the bare minimum and to take for granted that women should be mules whose efforts are acknowledged.[/quote]
^^are NOT acknowledged.[/quote]

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