Reply to Five Daughters in Their 20s Who Can’t Stop Fighting and Being Jealous

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's because you had 5 kids. Sorry but it's this. Some people can have a lot of kids and not incite jealousy and infighting because everyone still has what they need. IME usually this only works if you have a tight knit community or extended family who help with the kids and thus all the kids get plenty of 1 on 1 time with adults and feel loved.

But if you don't have those kinds of human resources, your kids grow up always feeling like your attention is divided. Because it is. Your older kids become resentful of younger kids because they lost you to the high demands of babies and toddlers when they were still young. Your middle kids feel invisible. Your youngest are probably the only ones who felt like they got the attention they wanted, but you neglected them in other ways  (for instance you may have failed to make them more independent and resilient, by constantly protecting them from older siblings and excusing their bad behavior as "well they're the youngest").

My parents did the same. Too many kids, not enough adults, lots of neglect. My siblings and I have never been close or gotten along. Lots of negative dynamics. [/quote]

This X10000. My MIL had 6 other siblings. They are all in their late 60s to early 80s and behave as emotionally stunted children when they interact. It’s bizarre to see but apparently common in houses with too many kids. Scarcity mindset creates some strange behaviors.[/quote]

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