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[quote=Anonymous]"The lawyers aren’t shitty. They just know it’s not enforceable and don’t want their clients to be mad when there’s notbuju they can do"

You really need to raise your expectations and standards, especially when you're paying someone good money to represent your interests. And BTW- In just the past two years I've seen three PSAs in Virginia with straight up unenforceable language (based on it being contrary to public policy and in one case it was a direct violation of VA law) so the problem isn't that clients might get mad about anything. It's that some lawyers aren't doing the bare minimum when it comes to drafting agreements and advising their clients.

A provision in the parenting agreement about how you BOTH agree to approach new relationships can go a long way toward establishing norms and boundaries that you'll follow while you're divorced but still coparenting. It's less about enforceability after the fact, and more about heading off bad behavior by giving the parents the chance during the negotiations to jointly ponder what is best for their children and to discuss what they want that to look like, and then memorializing that in the document. My ex and I have a similar provision in our agreement and I feel like it worked out well. We also did things like look ahead at what would happen if we remarried and how that would impact on our kids, especially with respect to inheritance and college costs. Sure, that's all just contract language and one of us could choose to not comply. I'm remarried, and I could just give my entire estate to my new husband and disinherit my kids. But because I've taken the time to consider this and then signed a legal document indicating that I don't want that outcome, I'm much less likely to try and do so. Moreover, I was able to point to that language in my divorce agreement when I explained to my new DH that my kids will remain the beneficiaries of some of my pre-marital assets. He was fine with that. But if he'd pushed back, it would have been helpful.

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