Reply to If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?

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Reply to "If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous]So, as a woman who was in a sexless marriage because my xH didn’t want sex, I don’t think you get how that would be even more painful.

It was bad enough knowing he didn’t want sex with me. But divorcing me because he didn’t want sex would have made it clear:

1. He didn’t want sex with me
2. He didn’t value me enough to stick around without sex
3. He wanted to go have sex with other people

That would have hurt even worse. Maybe for you it wouldn’t have, but for a lot of people, it would be excruciatingly painful.

Not to mention, let’s say you’re the stereotypical heterosexual couple where the woman loses her drive but the man is the breadwinner. Now she’s leaving because she doesn’t want sex with you AND she’s taking half of “your” money/assets (not really yours, but I’m guessing most of the men who demand sex from their wives also see the money as theirs).

Him sticking around gave me time to grieve the relationship (we had other problems besides sexlessness, as most sexless marriages do) and make a choice from a position of power. It also allowed me the time to get all my ducks in a row. [/quote]

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