Reply to What (if anything) should be salary/NW/age parameters for a life partner?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What (if anything) should be salary/NW/age parameters for a life partner?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try not being so materialistic, OP. Might have helped you stay married. [/quote]

oh please. Would you tell a man to not care about a woman's appearance when searching for a mate?

I hate the misogynist hypocrisy.

Everyone has preferences and preferring a beauty is no more or less valid or noble than preferring resources. [/quote]

DP.

"Beauty" however someone describes it can make someone hard and wet. That is useful in a romantic relationship. I am not sure that a high income from a man does that to a woman who makes 250k and has 4 million in net worth at 45, unless we are talking Jeff Bezos level of income. As long as the man is not counting on OP to subsidize his lifestyle, his income does not matter as much. She is not looking to have children with him or even to marry him ( she would be stupid to consider marriage at this stage in life).

A 45-50 year old NIH researcher who makes 150K and has a 1 million TSP who is good looking is just as attractive to many women in OP's bracket as a lawyer with OP's salary and networth.

My one single friend who is worth millions dates mostly firefighters and recently retired marines because of their fitness level. She likes chivalrous, handsome men with good bodies. These people work and have pensions so they are not looking for her to take care of them. 
[/quote]

Does she take all her firefighters boyfriends out at her own expense ? Finances all travel?

I’m in a similar situation as OP and nothing is less attractive than man not being able to contribute at par with me to the joint expenses. They need to have a similar lifestyle to mine otherwise I either need to subsidize them (a sexual turn off) or always vacation in a tent [/quote]

This is ridiculous. You don't need two 250k incomes and two 4 million dollar portfolios to take good vacations. Our combined household income is 300k, and we spend 25k on vacation as a family of 4. Our Kids are in expensive sports and extracurriculars (easily 20k a year). We eat out a lot. We will be living in luxury when our kids are adults on this income.

If you are on 250K and have a partner on 150K (yes, retired military are very easily on 150k by the time you add their pensions, post retirement careers and sometimes disability benefits) you don't have to take every vacation with your partner. If he can afford 4 a year and you can afford 6, you can do 2 without him if that is a turn off for you. You can take some with your girlfriends or family. Most women do. Are you willing to reduce your dating pool because of a couple of expensive vacations? Are you willing to eliminate nice looking men for that?

The main difference between 250k and 150k will be housing. He might live 30 minutes further into the burbs than you do or live in a much smaller house. Why would this matter if you don't share kids? A 30 minute extra drive is nothing if to most men. Let him drive to you.[/quote]

Your situation is different. Your husband is with you almost  whole adult life in a committed relationship with two kids. That’s not happening for most women and men dating in their 40-50s. Yes, I would want to date someone with similar lifestyle as I don’t want to argue over joint budget etc. BHDT

[/quote]

I agree that you shouldn't combine incomes or a  budget with a boyfriend. But I was trying to say that if we can afford that much on 300k, a man with adult independent kids or no kids can afford more without. Infact a retired millitary man with one kid in college might be paying no tuition because the GI bill is covering his kid's education. He might not live in your neighborhood though.

But yes, absolutely do not subsidize a boyfriend's lifestyle.

[/quote]

I don’t think that 300k buys much in dmv. In fact I had to move to a different state to afford the lifestyle I wanted as a single person. One skiing vacation is now $8-10k for 2 persons. Tennis that I like playing $2-3k/year min . A man I’m seriously considering for a LTR would need to be interested in that same active lifestyle and able to pay in his way. That’s more like a $500-600k joint income, if the couple eventually moves in together or buy a joint home for retirement. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with anyone who doesn’t have at least equivalent disposable income to mine. I make $350k gross my spent is $120k/year as single person and I’m a net saver. I don’t think I have a luxurious lifestyle - just not counting penni.

I agree that military pensions and benefits can altogether add to a high net worth but there are not as many men who are military and also interesting people

[b]Women don’t respect men who make less or have  cheaper lifestyle than their own[/b] [/quote]

Just like I don't respect women who weigh more and eat more than I do. I earn a high salary and have a high NW so I can be picky.
[/quote]

This does not sound so picky if you are tall ..  😆 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics