Reply to Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

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[quote=Anonymous]15:24 again back with practical advice since it sounds like this is pretty likely to happen.

1. Legal paperwork making it clear that from DATE to DATE while parents are out of the country, 19YO is granted authority to care for the children and make decisions, including medical, as needed. This must be in order.

2. Leave accurate contact info and a reasonable expectation for how frequently/quickly you can be reached.

3. If you're leaving her in charge, she needs authority, flexibility, and to know that you will back her up. If she sends a kid to bed early, or takes away the video game controller, or whatever, if the other kids think they can text you to complain and it will work, chaos will result. If she has to manage the circus (and 6 kids at once will always be a bit of a circus at least if she's new to managing them all) then you cannot undermine her from afar.

4. If she wants input, help her plan meals and daily schedules. If she's so accustomed to caring for the younger kids already that she says she's got it, just make sure she has access to the money and supplies she will need.

5. Make sure all camps for the little kids have the 19 year old as the authorized adult for drop off, pick up, communication about issues, etc.

6. Make sure you and the 19 year old are on the same page about the absolutely non-negotiable rules, and then give her the flexibility to manage everything else. If you usually eat organic but everything goes wrong so she grabs takeout one night -- yeah, okay, she's managing a ton of kids alone and sometimes stuff happens. If you're usually a gentle discipline household but 2 of the kids will not stop fighting so she sits them in chairs facing the corner and makes them stay put until they can shut it, okay, she managed the problem. If bedtime "should" be 8pm but the little one will not freaking sleep except in her lap in the rocking chair and 4 years old "should" be past this darn stage... yeah, ok, as long as sleep eventually happened and nobody got hurt the 19 year old is doing great. Flexibility, grace, priorities, support.[/quote]

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