Reply to Getting clarity on wedding invite- what is reasonable?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Getting clarity on wedding invite- what is reasonable?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is your sister, absolutely reasonable to talk to her.

[b]"Sis, I know you want to wait to gauge numbers for your B list, but I need to know so I can book flights to attend. Please let me know if Janey and Joey are invited and I will book accordingly."[/b]

I wouldn't even give a deadline. It's absurd to send save the dates and not have a clear idea on if the people who RECEIVED SAVE THE DATES are invited. What a bullshit way of planning a wedding. [/quote]

I think this is a great way to phrase it :lol:
My guess is there is an A list and B list and that only the A list receives the save the dates.  I've never been asked to RSVP for a save the date though and I'm guessing most guests haven't either.[/quote]
It's sooo clear she's being tacky and doing a B list.

The point of a B list is that people aren't supposed to know theyre on a B list. You don't send them a save the date and say "we hope we get enough declines so your family can come". It's so gross. [/quote]

I feel like you should figure out what kind of celebration you want -- with or without children, and then plan that celebration.  If you need to do A list and B list then close family goes on the A list.  You don't B list your own nieces and nephews just because they're children.

If you have friends or colleagues who make the A list but you don't have a relationship their kids, then excluding or B listing those kids seems different than A listing your own nieces and nephews.

I think the question OP needs to answer is whether she'd rather travel with or without her kids.

If you like the idea of doing this childfree, and then let your sibling know that you made arrangements without kids and won't be able to add them.

If you're on the fence, maybe tell your sibling "I need to make the reservations now.  I'm happy to do this with or without them, but I need to know one way or another by X date."

If you really want to bring them, maybe look into childcare in the destination country for just the ceremony and reception time.  Maybe ask your sibling for help with that.  If your parents are there, maybe ask them for help.

If I was invited to an international wedding, and I couldn't bring my kids, or find childcare, I wouldn't go.  An international trip is a huge deal for my budget.  I might be able to affod one every 10 years.  I would choose a trip I could bring my kids on, over one where I saw someone get married.  So, I would say "I'm sorry, I can't make it due to childcare reasons.  If it turns out later that you have room for the kids, I can see if there are still affordable tickets at that point.  Just let me know."[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics