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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously this person takes up a ton of real estate in your mind. I personally wouldn’t like to live that way and would allow your friend to make amends. Cutting people off because you feel disrespected?? Eh! Hear what she has to say. Give her a chance. Life is short and I wouldn’t want to be planning my life around another person like you are currently.[/quote]

But what if the friend doesn't want to make amends.

This happened to me. A friend hurt me badly, I told her why her words/actions had hurt me, and she shrugged it off and told me it was my problem. I chose to withdraw from the friendship after that, and when she realized what that meant for her, she did something similar to what OP's former friend did -- reached out with a non-apology and "can't you just forget about it and move on." No amends. When I pressed for them, she just dug back in on her original approach -- that didn't happen, or if it did it's your fault for misunderstanding, and anyway it wasn't a big deal.

Amends aren't being offered here. OP's option is to sustain a "friendship" with someone who doesn't value OP's feelings or experiences, or to end the friendship and deal with the awkwardness. Either way, OP will wind up devoting mental real estate to this person, because that's what happens when you feel hurt by someone you are close to and realize they don't care. It's the same reason people sometimes take time to get over a breakup or a job loss.

It's interesting to think about if OP wasn't talking about a friend but a significant other. Like imagine this is a boyfriend instead. He said or did something that hurt OP, and when she told him about it, he shrugged it off and said he was justified. So OP hit the eject button on their relationship and starts avoiding him, and now he's reaching out and saying "are you over this yet? I miss you." What would your advice be to OP in that situation? I guarantee it wouldn't be "get back together with him, he seems sorry enough."[/quote]

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