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[quote=Anonymous]OP don't listen to all the people saying basically there is something wrong with you. I think some people are just more intense than others. I am a 1.5 generation immigrant and I am kind of like you. It is a combination of the stress and experience of growing up as a poor immigrant with no social and financial safety net in this country and just plain inmate temperament. I honestly think most Americans just do not understand. They are either educated but grew up spoiled as middle class Americans or are poor but uneducated.

I would suggest going on dates that involve some physical activity, like hiking or rock climbing, or kayaking, etc. The endorphins help with relaxing you and lightening things up for the first few dates. I find that some people are fine with intensity but not right off the bat.

You also need to think hard about what kind of partner you want. For some intense personalities, they work best with someone opposite, who is chill and easygoing because this allows the intense person to lead and exert more control over family and financial life. However, the tradeoff is that it puts more stress on you. So some are happier meeting someone who is also intense and focused and can get shit done. Being with someone like that could help you relax since he would be sharing your burden in life. You really need some introspection here.

Good luck. It is a lifelong struggle. I am married so not looking to meet men but every time I meet anyone new, like a school parent, I am aware of how much more intense I am than the regular American mom. I have to actively tone it down, but most of the time now, i find that exhausting so I just don't care to mingle and make small talk. Sometimes, in rare cases, I stumble across someone else intense, and we usually hit it off immediately. Just sharing so you know that some of us appreciate intensity![/quote]

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