Reply to The value of “women’s work”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hate to make this devolve into some trite commentary, but these sorts of exercises are humiliating for stay at home parents.  The worst are the instagram videos of the SAHM's that are trying to show how difficult their lives are, and then show them taking their kids to school, grocery shopping, cleaning their home, preparing meals. Imagine doing all of that plus an outside job!

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The people making those videos are Instagram influencers. That's not your typical SAHM. I've never seen someone make one of those videos and include the stuff a lot of SAHMs I know do. They are all 20-something SAHMs with small children living in huge houses. Half the time the video will include crap like their 40 minute beauty routine or multiple workouts. This is not the life of the average SAHM.

Here's stuff a lot of SAHMs I know do that never makes it in an Instagram reel: elder care, caring for kids with SNs, dealing with their own chronic health issues. Many people become SAHMs because there are things going on in their life that make it hard-to-impossible to maintain a full time job on top of everything else. Stuff you don't have to deal with and should be glad you don't have to deal with.

Other women become SAHMs or switch to part time or freelance work because their spouse, who is the higher earner (or who simply refuses to share primary parenting duties), has a job that makes it impractical for the mom to have a regular job. The most obvious one here are military spouses but there are plenty of other people in this boat, including many who don't have some high earning spouse making life as a SAHM easier. My spouse's job means he's unavailable to help with almost any parenting 3 days a week. When we first had a baby, it was 5 days a week. I actually did try to keep working in a regular job initially, but it was a hellish existence where I felt incredibly isolated, constantly exhausted, and wound up hating both work and parenting. Leaving that job let me at least enjoy some aspects of parenting, feel better about the quality of care my kids were getting, and address some of my own mental health needs. Now I work part time and I don't feel my life is any easier or more relaxed than someone working full time but with a more present partner or more help at home. Everyone's life is set up differently.[/quote]

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