Reply to Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell him you won’t ask for more child support. Let him have every other weekend and be flexible on if he can have dinners one or two night a week as well. Don’t he petty or awkward. This is about the kids. [/quote]

You don’t take the kids away from dad because he has to work.  If he takes a lower paying job, mom gets less child support.  And, that’s not a good reason to take the kids away because you want more money.  Get a part time job when kids are with dad or get a better paying job. If it’s about the kids they need time with their dad and 4 days a month and dinner occasionally I’d not a relationship.  If it is, kids should live with dad and mom see them every other weekend and dinner occasionally and that solves the school issue as kids go to school and child care near dad and he uses the child support money to pay for child care. [/quote]

That’s not how it works. When the custody schedule is set, it is contingent on the parents being able to meet their parenting obbligations on those days. He chose to set up his life in a way that means he can no longer meet his parenting obligations. So yes it is on him to figure out a way to make the existing schedule work - or propose a different reasonable one that works. Reasonable does not mean his ex does pickup and drop off every day and it also doesn’t mean forcing the kids to move schools. [/quote]

He is working.  This is why you are divorced. [/quote]

lol. Conversely this is why HE is divorced- because he is a lazy baby who wants people to do all his work for him.

I am totally happy to be flexible with my exDH - he is actually the one who is more inflexible. But no, I am not doing school pickup and drop off on his days because he moved out of the school district and can’t be bothered to do what working moms have done since the beginning of time - manage to balance their work schedules with childcare needs.

If my exDH tried to pull this (and it is exactly the kind of thing he would do) 
I would offer to shift the schedule to one that involved less weekday time for him because clearly he cannot manage it. Maybe every Friday plus one long weekend a month. If he rejected that then he can figure out how to find and pay a part time nanny for his days.

A lot would also depend on why his work schedule was changing. If he has a job with non traditional hours and truly cannot help or control getting the night shift or having longer shifts (like ER doctor etc) then I would be much more flexible. (But also wonder why tf he complicated his kids lives so much by moving far away.) If he just decided he needs to spend more time at work or “has a big project coming up and I have to work a lot” because he didn’t know what being the on-call parent would be like … I would be MUCH less inclined to accommodate because he needs to figure out how to be a working parent on his own. If he took a job with a longer commute I would think he was a dumb*ss for not figuring out a new schedule on his own and offer to redo the custody schedule. [/quote]

Not talking about you but if you want to benefit from his money it’s in your best interest to work with him. [/quote]

That’s not how it works at all. Child support is court-ordered and calculated by formula. It’s not a gift to the other parent.[/quote]

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