Reply to How do you teach kids to be moral, kind, and respectful when many successful people aren't?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "How do you teach kids to be moral, kind, and respectful when many successful people aren't?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was just having this realization lately OP. Supposedly we are a rule based "civilization" and every single day adults show kids that rules dont matter because they wont be enforced. And sometimes it is little things but again, these are all little white lie/actions that cumulatively snowball into a lawless society.

Every day we see:
1. People using HOV without 2+ people in the car
2. People driving up an exit only lane, passing all opportunities to merge until slamming on their brakes and having to wait to merge thus holding up those actually exiting 
3. The most recent storm showed people dont care about kids or those who walk. Just this past weekend, people were finally out shoveling their sidewalks. The storm happened on 1/25. It was 2/14. Did the city or county fine them? No. So why would they shovel? Were their driveways shoveled? You betcha. There are two neighbors with corner lots in our neighborhood who didnt shovel at all and still haven't. 
4. People dont open doors. Dont offer help or assistance. Dont look out for neighbors. They park in the fire lane to go pick up their Chipotle order instead of walking their fat a$$es 20 yards.

Then there's school- kids who don't listen get the attention. Kids get lollipops after going to the principal's office. Kids take other kids pencils and supplies and if the kid complains they get told not to be a tattletale or to deal with it themselves but then when said kid asks for the pencil back, they are told not to be disruptive or let it go. Middle school is basically a fight or two every day. Physical or sexual assault is normalized. Giving HS kids access to alcohol at parent-hosted parties.

Congress can make insider trading and become millionaires. The Trump admin is outright unethical and self-serving,
Government doesn't enforce rules. People who hurt children or women are given slaps on the wrist.

So yeah. I struggle with this. In the day-to-day of raising kids it feels like all the lessons we try to teach them and what we model in our home is not going to helpful for them out in the "real world". 
[/quote]
I’m curious about what you guys are doing about these realizations. I have been noticing that reality seems to inherently reward evil behavior over good and I am not sure what to do about it. I fundamentally cannot raise my kids to be selfish and unethical so where does that leave me? Just accept poverty and suffering as the price to pay for having ethics? Sheesh.[/quote]

DP but if you notice the list from PP, they are all insignificant things. Bad behavior can get you ahead on some little things, like getting somewhere 2 mins faster, but I don't believe it confers any real advantages. It won't make you poor to be a good person. Pick a good career and work hard. You might not be a billionaire but you can be very well off. [/quote]

Wow so to be clear you think not following rules and laws is insignificant...?

I started with small things because it's not just the big, powerful people. It trickles down into day-to-day community interactions. What is the point of having a HOV lane if it isnt enforced? There is a REASON for it. Just because it doesnt confer a huge or significant advantage doesnt mean that not obeying the rules/laws does not slowly denigrate the society we live in. If only 10% of people are following a rule/law, it becomes that those following the laws are at a disadvantage.

It chips away at community cohesiveness and honestly for all the backlash against permissive parenting, it sure feels like the entire US is one permissive pissing contest.

Even if you are a "good" person not a billionaire who picks a good career and works hard if you are still a shite in your day-to-day interactions you are not a good person. The problem has become that if you arent a rapist, pedophile, fraud, money launderer, pimp, arms dealer, AI tech bro bent on destroying our collective rise as a society, murderer, etc then you are relatively good. That cannot be the metric. And you could say some of those things are directly hurting anyone- for example, sharing passwords for streaming services which is illegal but its illegal because of corporate greed and profit maximizing. Not following road rules is for safety. I dont do either because both are rules but as a society the crackdown is on the former not the latter and it infiltrates our children's minds when they see what rules are being enforced. What we, as a society, choose to say matters.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics