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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adoption is whole  different narrative today than  from years ago. There is no such thing as a closed adoption. All parties will be known, including  bio parents, grandparents,  siblings, etc. Adoption was always adoptive parent centered  ( saviors, rescuers) and never  child centered (each child comes with their own identity, no one is being "saved"- women make adoption choices for various reasons, not because of shame or morals), but now it's child  centered.

Yes, they need to be told. No, they do become the adoptive family's culture and  ethnicity  because they look like it or pass, yes they  should know everything when  age appropriate,  and  adoptive parents should encourage  ancestry  and bio family connection if child wants to. The child's identity,  birthdate,  everything is their own.

DNA has replaced all the cloaked secrets. There's no wondering or guessing anymore. No secrets. [/quote]

I don’t know where you get any of this information from.  Yes, there are still MANY closed domestic infant adoptions.  And even when an open adoption is promised to a mother considering relinquishment, there is literally NO legal recourse to that mother if the adopters take her child and then immediately cut off contact, or cut off contact at a later date for whatever reason they want.  And some studies show more than half of options that were promised to be open are actually closed by the adopters.

Yes, it is true that commercial DNA can reveal secrets and rcinnvtvfikyes separated by adoption loss, but that doesn’t in any way ameliorate the loss or the betrayal to both parent and child if an open adoption is later closed by the adopters.

You are also VERY wrong that relinquishing mothers no longer make these choices out of shame.  Christian maternity homes are more popular than ever in the U.S. and they are almost entirely run by evangelical sects that do indeed very purposefully inflict great shame upon the pregnant girl or woman, with the entire premise of adoption being that the act of such “selfless” love is redeeming, and that by giving away their baby to more worthy parents, they are redeeming their their terrible sins of sex outside of marriage.

The podcast Liberty Lost goes into this kind of pervasive shame based messaging in great detail.  The first episode opens with a scene where a relinquishing teen mom is forced into participating in this creepy ceremony where she and the father of the baby have to walk him down the aisle in a public ceremony and place him in the adopters’ arms up at the altar, to great praise from the gathering of their families and others.  The entire ritual is framed as redemptive and cleansing.  But everything about it is shame based [/quote]
I am talking about the current general societal paradigm  of adoption now vs. the Baby Scoop Era. 
Yes, there are legally closed adoptions, but that is no longer something that has to be done. Closed adoptions now  are much rarer because  adoption  is no longer just in the adoptive parents control. Or a court.

The example you gave above is extremely esoteric  and culture bound, it's  certainly not the norm for today compared  to the 50s and 60s. There are religious sects who do creepy things, and what  you describe is definitely  not common at all, but  keeping girls in maternity homes, out of school is actually illegal  unless a family can prove she's homeschooled and there is oversight. Young mothers also have rights if they  choose to buck this antiquated system,  whereas years ago they had no rights.  What you are talking about only exists in extreme rarity. Depending on the state, too,  as marriage at 16 is still legal in some states, but that doesn't mean it's  the norm.

Society has entirely changed sinced earlier generations.  No mandated maternity homes, no need to marry, no need to give the child up- and that is societal, not religious. The mother has more rights when she does give the child up, too. 
With regard to DNA, there is literally no more issue with biological identity at all. There is actually  zero way to keep any part of the members involvement a secret. Yes, I'm  sure there are open adoptions that didn't comply,  but the main thing is that these children  will always know who their biological  family is,  at some time or another. [/quote]

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