Reply to It's All on Me Because DH Never Sees a Problem

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand.  If DH were a colleague I would do my work. He would do his work.  The final product would show my contributions and lack of his.  A boss would notice and give appropriate feedback/promotion.  How does that apply here? 
[/quote]

I actually am a boss at a big company with a big team, so here’s the feedback you say you want. “Your work” isn’t a universal standard. It’s reading like a list of things you’ve decided matter, and not everyone (your husband) agrees they do. Hunting down video evidence for a minor dent is not automatically a deliverable (a to-do). If you were on my team, telling me you had no bandwidth ("I have no free time") while adding optional tasks like that, I’d coach you on prioritization, not validate the overwhelm.

Same with the cooking. You don’t get to say you want help and then dock points because he didn’t use vegetables the way you would have. That’s not collaboration, that’s moving the goalposts. At work, that doesn't get you far.

Align on what actually counts as “the job.” Right now, you’re grading him on YOUR standards. That's not how it works, either at work or at home.[/quote]

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