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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: Our kids are 10 and 4.

She would not be open to living in an apartment, unfortunately. 🫠[/quote]

Well, you don’t have to be open to her living with you. Why are you only doing what she wants? She should’ve planned for this long ago. It’s not like you get dementia overnight. Sorry to be so blunt, but you seem to be making a lot of excuses.  [/quote]

OP: I'm not trying to make excuses, just saying what her mindset is. She specifically told me she didn't want to live in an apartment. I wouldn't be making this post if I didn't have misgivings about the idea of her moving in. I think it would be ideal if she moved into a retirement community or bought a 1-story house somewhere in the NOVA area. [/quote]

So what are you asking for? It seems that your mom has decided to move in with you and you think you have to do as she wants. The reality is that you're an adult now and don't have to do as your mom tells you. Your obligation is to your own family, DH and children. You tell her she cannot move in with you and if she needs help finding alternatives, you're open to help her to find a retirement community or something else that's to her liking. Otherwise she stays put. I'd not move mom in unless she has a really close relationship with your children, including baby-sitting and attending their events, and otherwise having participated in grandparenting. If she's a stranger who now wants to move in, because it suits her, while the kids are already 4 and 10 and don't know her except for a couple-hour-visits, that's would be a definite no! [/quote]

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