Reply to Getting your adult kids "off the payroll"

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Getting your adult kids "off the payroll""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We lived below our means and so my kids do not have super expensive taste.  We have given them a lot of financial leg-ups but they also know that we will pay for only things that we value.

We have lived in an inexpensive neighborhood, my kids have gone to public schools,  DH has a horrible commute, we drive our cars until they die. But, we have also been able to afford many UMC things - yearly international vacation, bi-weekly cleaners, a 3000sqft SFH, tutors, expensive ECs etc.

When my kids made money (paid internship, merit scholarships for college) - we did not expect them to use it, instead we wanted them to save it in their Roth etc.

Here are the things we have paid for or will pay for -
- Every cost for college and grad school
- Each kid got a new sedan when they started college
- Travel, socializing, anything they wanted to buy in college  - until they got a well-paying job. 
- On our medical insurance until they turned 25
- Lived for free at home for as long as they want - no paying for rent, groceries, toiletries, medicine, utilities, use of vehicle etc.  They only paid for their own gas, parking, car-insurance and social life.  We told them that if they live with us permanently...they will have to chip in for some costs after they turn 35. 
- Wedding
- Setting up first apartment after getting a job (Furniture, gadgets, appliances, bed, bath, kitchen and dining stuff)
- First work wardrobe
- Winter, hiking and sports gear,  Luggage. 
- Laptop, phone, headphones, smartwatch, other devices. 
- 50K for down payment to their first house.

Once they start their job and are living separately from us - they pay for their own stuff (except what is listed above).   We send them money gifts for birthdays and Christmas. [/quote]

this is either a troll or the most tone-deaf clueless person on DCUM. [b]you pay for all that and think you live frugally[/b]???[/quote]

Yes. 
Because if as parents you live frugally in your 20s, 30s, 40s - you are financially better off in your 50s and 60s, and can pay for your kids.  The only debate is whether you want to make life easier for your kids or not.

- DH and I, paid off our college student debt within two years after graduating. 
- We had a very simple wedding that our parents chipped in. 
- We basically did not touch my earnings at all.  Lived and saved on DH's earnings.  
- We paid ourselves first. 
- We mainly ate at home and cooked from scratch. 
- Did not have kids for the first 5 years of our marriage because we were living in penurious conditions. 
- Van-pooled and public transportation to work for first 6 years of working
- Bought a house at the bottom of the housing market, in an inexpensive neighborhood in MoCo, with poor public schools and with a long commute for DH. 
- My kids did not go to private school.  I tutored at home and they got a place in the magnet schools. 
- I quit to become a SAHM and saved on childcare costs.
- My DH's traveled for work and that paid for our international travelling
- We had only 2 kids, no pets, and we drove old cars. 
- My kids went to in-state public college with generous merit scholarships in lucrative STEM fields.  We had saved money for their public college tuition.

Being frugal did not mean not being strategic.  We did pay for cleaners and tutors, so that our energy could go towards supporting our kids. However, with cheap housing, no childcare cost, no debt and no private schools - we did not have major costs.  Also, over the years, our HHI increased. Our retirement savings and investments compounded. We refinanced our house to the lowest interest rates. We are not a 30 - 40 yr old.  We have been in the work place for a long time.

As a result - 
-  When it came time for my kids to go to college, since we did not pay tuition,  we were in a position to pay for a car and living costs for them. 
- Since they went close to home, we saved a bundle by letting them stay on our medical insurance, not paying for them to travel back home, being able to support them for material goods from home.  They were raiding our costco stash instead of spending money at the commissary. 
- Since it costs us pennies, we will always let them stay with us for free.

Now,  please calculate what a new sedan, winter and sports gear, electronics devices, first professional wardrobe, first apartment set up will cost.  I can guarantee that it will cost less than 4 years of private college. Or OOS public.

Paying for wedding, downpayment for house...these are the expenses that we can now afford to pay or not.  We do have money set aside for that.

[/quote]

I love how living frugally on a high income is supposed to be some big accomplishment. Congrats I guess for not buying a Birkin? You are still tone deaf and think you accomplished a huge surprise. Guess what- its not that hard to save money when you make a lot. You just didnt fall for private school. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics