Reply to What age will you consider your kids "grown up" and no longer bail them out?

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Reply to "What age will you consider your kids "grown up" and no longer bail them out?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]7:59 Brain development is not so much about understanding the consequences, but the risk analysis that the undeveloped adolescent mind applies. Teens and young adults think they're exempt from getting caught, etc.. They engage in magical thinking ... They know what will happen if they get caught. [/quote]

This sounds like something you read in a tabloid. I don't think you understand brain development. Teens have very developed brains....they are capable of making good decisions and taking responsibility. Of course they will continue to mature and as they have more life experience, they will better be able to apply what they know. Their bodies continue to develop too but we don't say they kicked the ball poorly because they might still grow another inch. Teens around the world are taking on many, many adult responsibilities and doing it competently. Many rights and privileges are given to teens, young adults and their brains are more than able to manage this. They may not act responsible if they have never been held responsible or always rescued or had a golden path paved for them through life but they are not walking around with underdeveloped brains. Your brain will continue to change throughout your entire life. It doesn't reach more magical point of development. Executive functioning for example peaks in the 20s. A late teen will have more executive functioning skills (even if not yet fully developed) than a 40 year old. A 40 yr old will hopefully have more experience and better application. Studies have shown that teens as young as 14 have pretty much the same decisions making ability as those in their 20s and 30s - just not the life experience to always apply it well. It is however not a lack of rain development that has someone rendered them unable to make decisions. Normally developed brain + raised to be independent and responsible + life experience = well adjusted, competent youth.

There are people who make irresponsible and impulsive and poor decisions at every age and stage in life. Read the news or visit a jail - it is not somethings specific to teens. Look at the PP above - her son did something stupid - and dealt with the consequence of not having a car and hasn't done the same thing since. It wasn't that his brain suddenly went through a massive development, it was a lesson learned through life experience. Teens can be incredibly responsible, creative, innovative and make a big impact on the world around them.

IMO Should OP bail out her son (at no cost to him) - no. She could pay and also at the same time negotiate the terms of her payment and how what consequences there will be, how ultimately he will be responsible for it and there is a high cost to him.

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