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Eldercare
Reply to "elderly parents won't accept outside help"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The conversations and actions for eldercare needs to happen and put in place in the 50s and 60s. Otherwise they feel loss of control. [/quote] This is what I’ve been thinking too. If you have a preference on how you want it to be when you’re retired, organize this lifestyle now. Move where you want to be. 70+ is when executive function starts to give in[/quote] +1. It's also too late to establish any community in your new place if you move in your 70s. My mom wants to move near us and I don't feel comfortable being her only social support. She isn't a "joiner" and she would be leaving several lifelong friends from her current hometown, as well as all of her doctors, familiar routines, etc. I asked her to move closer (at least part-time) over a decade ago, and no interest was shown in that idea. Moving her now and finding her all new doctors and being the only person she knows in her old age feels overwhelming to me at this point, as selfish as that sounds. This step needs to happen earlier or incrementally (ie a part-time place that you eventually downsize to full-time).[/quote] I understand and I don’t blame you for not wanting to move her. However I had to move my almost 80 yo parent closer to me and it was a huge change. Luckily he wasn’t very socially engaged in his hometown either, so it wasn’t too bad. He tried guilt tripping me into being his new friend, but I refused. He is now in a couple classes at the senior center and does a lot of his own shopping. I visit him weekly for about an hour or so. I mostly don’t think about him at other times. [/quote]
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