Reply to How to talk to DH about my feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is bringing up income in the context of household responsibilities a dick move?

If she works outside of the home as much as he does but makes way less, that seems like an opportunity for her to do fewer hours working - because the household finances won't take so much of a hit - and reduce her overall workload.

If her lower income is a reflection of fewer hours worked outside the home, then its fair to consider that  in terms of equitable overall workload.

That shouldn't be the whole discussion. I can totally see guys blowing off any concerns at all about equitable contributions to the household. (Sounds a lot like OP's husband is doing just that.) But I don't see why relative income is off limits entirely. [/quote]

Because it is a dick move. I work full time. I make more than my husband, and still do more at home. It never occurred to me to bring money into "division of labor" talks. One, even though he makes less, he is working hard and his job simply doesn't lend itself to working fewer hours. It's always men who feel that simply because they bring in a paycheck, they can do little or nothing at home.[/quote]

My husband and I have flip flopped over the years as to who makes more, but we have always viewed things as who is working how many hours? When I'm busier at work, then he picks up the slack, even if he out-earns me. When he's busier at work, then I pick up the slack, even if I out-earn him. When we're both busy, we come up with ways to cut corners so we can both survive. [/quote]

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