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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you sure he is not having an affair?[/quote]

I mean I guess no one can be certain but he mostly works from home and we share all our passwords and I could look at his phone any time. He hasn’t done anything to raise my guard in that sense. [i]He just gets some weird motivation from making big piles of money that he won’t spend. And the more he works the more he makes.[/i] [/quote] 
OP, are your own insecurities getting projected here? You also expressed earlier that your job is not relevant financially— maybe these are signs that you’re not appreciating yourself enough. Maybe it’s time to lean into your own career or other interests more. That would surely be more fun and interesting than fighting.

You’re also misconstruing what sharing feelings means. Statements like “I feel like a task manager and household employee” and “I’d like him to participate more in family life” are not sharing actual feelings. They’re veiled criticisms. If you’re sad and miss him, share that. If you’re angry, share that, and try to be specific without launching into character flaws. No one wants that (as you noted when you said he then turns the spotlight back on you). He’s much more likely to shift based on your sharing real feelings and specific things you’d like to change rather than broad criticism.

Good luck. [/quote]

He’s not going to suddenly behave like an adult at home. He never has. His mother let him skate by and so did his first wife. [/quote]

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