Reply to Keys to Thriving or Just Surviving in NW ES--Parents, I need your insights!

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Reply to "Keys to Thriving or Just Surviving in NW ES--Parents, I need your insights!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your kid is THREE. I can tell you with great certainty that what is actually going to impact him is your intense anxiety and achievement focus.

Meanwhile I can tell you that about the only factor that I think actually matters for elementary school selection is location. A neighborhood school that kids can walk to will make it easier to make friends and will reduce time stress on the family. [/quote]

Thank you for your thoughts on this. It's reasonable to suggest that anxiety and focusing excessively on achievement can be harmful. You're probably right about the anxiety component (not even specifically re: ES, just in general). Believe me, I'm actively working on it in therapy; goodness knows I don't want my baggage to become my kid's baggage. My husband has been a fantastic support in that regard, and we certainly try out best to make our home a safe, loving space for our son.

That said, I'm much less concerned about achievement and more concerned about my kid being in an environment that doesn't make him miserable over the next 6 years. I'm happy to accept a less rigorous school if it means he can attend a school that reinforces his curiosity, empowers him to try his best, and sends the message that he and his efforts matter. I also don't want him drowning in 2+ hours of homework in 3rd and 4th grade (something I experienced in elementary and middle school), so we're trying to choose ESs with the future in mind. I can tell you anecdotally and from the educational psych and developmental psych literature that the things I've listed as our priorities matter A LOT, even in ES....they affect mental health outcomes (internalizing and externalizing disorders), long-term attitudes and motivation toward school and learning, persistence in problem-solving through difficult tasks, and resilience to stress in adulthood.

I recognize that a lot of these things start at home. We're cognizant of that and parent with these considerations in mind. I'm interested in knowing which schools have a solid track record of fostering a positive socioemotional and educational environment for my son. I've looked at the socioemotional development curricula at as many of the NW ESs as I could find, but that information doesn't tell me whether the school effectively implements those principles in the classroom. Hopefully this clarifies why I'm asking for parents' insights. [/quote]

Please talk to your therapist about your concerns in more detail - maybe even print out what you've posted here and share it. Your posts are asking for things that go beyond feedback on an anonymous message board. But I do think the best advice you're getting is 1) you have a great IB path 2) you, not your school, will have the biggest impact on most of those points 3) you may have some really unrealistic expectations from DCPS (or most any public school system).

I don't want to add another long-winded reply to this thread, but there's a lot going on in your posts, and the anxiety-driven approach you are taking is likely unfair to your son and it's certainly not fair to his future teachers. You're letting your own decades-old trauma control how you're thinking about public school for a three/four year old and doing so in an overly clinical manner. My youngest is having a great experience in DCPS PK3 right now, and as a room parent with a solid read on our teacher/class/grade/school, these these posts leave me thinking, "I hope that family doesn't end up in our class next year," and that's not a good feeling to have.

Our school is great but not perfect, and while we have plenty of first-born children in the class, I can tell you that none of their parents are bringing this kind of energy to the group chat, meet ups or open hours. Teachers and schools - even the great ones - only have so much bandwidth available. I became friendly with a number of my kids' teachers over the years, and it's a hard situation for everyone when one parent takes up all of the oxygen. It does seem like you are genuinely aware of these things and working on them, so kudos there and I can only encourage you to keep doing so. If you're destined for DCPS you have to be able to be prepared to just roll with things... the good, the bad, the in between. [/quote]

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