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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went zero contact with one sibling. Best choice ever. Year three.

Leave it be.[/quote]

Did you ever discuss the behavior that caused you to go zero contact? Did you act like all was fine, then boom, cut them off? If so, that is extremely immature and borders on instability. However, if you let the sibling know the behavior wasn't acceptable and they continued to do it, then fine, cut them off.[/quote]
What you’re describing is rare in family situations, especially among adults. More commonly (as with divorce), it’s death by a thousand cuts to the relationship. It’s not uncommon that the person feeling cut off knowingly refused to budge on important issues, or consistently failed to be kind. Abuse and personality disorders are also not uncommon, and it can take people deep into adulthood to work through their feelings and build a more peaceful life, with healthier boundaries. Sometimes the family of origin dynamics don’t support that change. If you care about someone who is low or no contact, leave the door open. Even better, work on yourself in the meantime.

OP’s use of “female sibling” and other ways of describing their relationship aren’t exactly warm or insightful. Maybe their sister will come around, maybe not. The best thing OP can do is work on building their own EQ. 
[/quote]

OP’s post was succinct and did not give a lot of identifying details in an anonymous but public forum. That’s perfectly understandable, especially when talking about family dynamics, and I would not read into it.

PP, it sounds like you have a lot of sympathy for the sibling going no contact. There are lots of situations where space is a good thing. But I do wonder if no-contact is increasingly appealing for folks who want to avoid hearing anything that conflicts with their preferences. It’s peaceful, yes. Definitely easier than working through conflict. Not sure that it’s always healthy. [/quote]

NP. I am 100% sure my brother is out there telling people that I went no contact because I "couldn't handle conflict" and I "avoid everything". The truth is he is a 55 y/o emotionally immature bully who regularly blows up at people and then later wants to "talk about it", which means that he is 1) now tired of experiencing the consequences of his behavior, 2) wants a chance to explain why his behavior was justified or not that bad, and 3) and is ready for the relationship to continue as before. Until his next blow up.

The truth is there are just some behaviors that no one should repeatedly tolerate AND no one needs to explain why they are not ok.

I mean, if he's really puzzled he can get a therapist and show them our last email exchange. That ought to clear things up for anyone who has any doubt. But, honestly, I know he's had therapists, and my best guess is that he will just make up his own version of events in which he is a victim, and if they get close to the truth he will stop going. Whatever.
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