Reply to Sibling Estrangement

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Sibling Estrangement "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went zero contact with one sibling. Best choice ever. Year three.

Leave it be.[/quote]

Did you ever discuss the behavior that caused you to go zero contact? Did you act like all was fine, then boom, cut them off? If so, that is extremely immature and borders on instability. However, if you let the sibling know the behavior wasn't acceptable and they continued to do it, then fine, cut them off.[/quote]
What you’re describing is rare in family situations, especially among adults. More commonly (as with divorce), it’s death by a thousand cuts to the relationship. It’s not uncommon that the person feeling cut off knowingly refused to budge on important issues, or consistently failed to be kind. Abuse and personality disorders are also not uncommon, and it can take people deep into adulthood to work through their feelings and build a more peaceful life, with healthier boundaries. Sometimes the family of origin dynamics don’t support that change. If you care about someone who is low or no contact, leave the door open. Even better, work on yourself in the meantime.

OP’s use of “female sibling” and other ways of describing their relationship aren’t exactly warm or insightful. Maybe their sister will come around, maybe not. The best thing OP can do is work on building their own EQ. 
[/quote]

OP’s post was succinct and did not give a lot of identifying details in an anonymous but public forum. That’s perfectly understandable, especially when talking about family dynamics, and I would not read into it.

PP, it sounds like you have a lot of sympathy for the sibling going no contact. There are lots of situations where space is a good thing. But I do wonder if no-contact is increasingly appealing for folks who want to avoid hearing anything that conflicts with their preferences. It’s peaceful, yes. Definitely easier than working through conflict. Not sure that it’s always healthy. [/quote]
OP said they “Have never gotten a straight answer as to why” — suggesting OP or others in the family have continued to have conversations/contact with their sister, just not to OP’s preference. OP further referring to their sister as a “female sibling” is such an odd, distancing choice that it suggests OP would benefit from a closer look at their own communication style and way of relating to their sister. It would also help give OP a greater sense of control, because that’s all any of us can control (our own thoughts, feelings, behaviors).

Most of us have empathy for families struggling to connect. But it’s notable that healthier families are usually more accepting of fluctuations in relationship space than enmeshed ones. There are less strings attached. Enmeshed families aren’t usually secure families, and thus they are more likely to perceive lower contact as no contact, even when it’s not truly the case.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics