Reply to splitting costs w/ spouse - we earn very different amounts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH makes about 20x what I make.  I came to the marriage with some assets, him with debt.  But as you can see his career has been much more lucrative.  For 25 years we have contributed 50-50 to expenses of the household (keep incomes separate), except when I've been on unpaid maternity leave (he pays 100%).  I find I can really just barely afford my 50% of our our expenses on my income.

Does anybody else have this kind of arrangement?  Any sage advice for how to try to unwind it?  I know it is a bizarre situation, so please hold off on the judgmental comments if you can.[/quote]

No, this is wrong.  We have a budget that tallies up the monthly expenses.  We pay commensurate with the percentage of monthly income we bring in.  I.e. if monthly expenses are $10,000 and Spouse 1 brings home 30% of take home and Spouse 2 brings home 70%, then Spouse 1 contributes $3000 toward monthly expenses and Spouse 2 contributes $7000.  That way neither of us is too poor to have some money and freedom to buy things for ourselves, have drinks with friends, etc.  We still split our household and childcare responsibilities 50/50, and we consider our financial arrangement to be 50/50 as well because it is comensurate with income and we both have jobs we love.

Your arrangement seems patently unfair to you IMO.  Not sure how you can unwind it after 25 years.  Sounds like this is a holdover from your early days but he is I assume no longer in debt and you were and are not obliged to pay a "bride price" for the privilege of having married him.  You need to sit home down and have a calm conversation about how you can more fairly contribute to your household.[/quote]

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