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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll never understand women who "protect" their cheating ex by not divulging an affair. Just tell the truth. [/quote]

FWIW, I told only my close friends and family members whom I knew would never broadcast the info to our kids or anyone else.

I did not pro-actively "protect him" by saying he was a good guy, although he often tried to use his "good" relationship with me and the kids to validate himself to others, as predators are wont to do, including to his second wife who eventually asked for a divorce.  But, I'm not obliged to get others to take off their blinders.

But I did "protect" him by not actively spilling his secret to people that he knew.  In return, I got full custody of our kids with visitation only to him.  He was able to stay employed and thus pay child support to me.  My kids were able to have relationships with grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins on his side and that has been a valuable part of creating family for them in the absence of his reliability.  I didn't spend mental energy on trying to convince anyone he was wrong, and I didn't get embroiled in a fight in front of the kids that forced them to choose sides.

The kids realized for themselves as they grew older what kind of person he was.  The same character flaws that made him cheat also ruined other relationships.  There really was no need to expose him when he would eventually expose himself.

Interestingly, no one ever asked me flat out if he cheated.  If someone had, kids included I wouldn't have lied for him.
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