Reply to Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?

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Reply to "Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah OP, you're in the clear. I'm the PP who mentioned my friend decorating my ex's place.

It's a process to detach and stop overfunctioning. I've been on this journey for a year and a half and I've only really truly dropped the rope recently. I mean, I stopped doing all the practical things for him right away, but I kept [i]feeling[/i] like I should step in and make things better for my kids. What if I just gave him some little tips? Sent him a few links? Reminded him? I'm finally getting to the point where I really don't care if he can't figure obvious things out, or if he blames me or the kids for his natural consequences. He's a grown man. He's choosing not to learn how to buy groceries. He's choosing not to look at the calendar.

Men like this usually find another woman as quickly as possible to pick up the slack for them. My kids are very upset that their dad passive-aggressively complained about them not filling his stocking . . . he never asked them to, of course, so how were they supposed to guess he wanted them to? (I've always filled my own, since he used weaponized incompetence to get out of it.) He said this in front of his affair partner-turned-girlfriend . . . 100 to 1 she fills his stocking next year.

When I told my mother this story, she said, "Oh dear. Should I have filled his stocking?" So we can see where I learned my codependence.[/quote]

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