Reply to Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Am I expected to set up my kids’ rooms at STBX’s house?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, is anyone suggesting to you that you have an obligation to make his house more welcoming for your kids so that they want to go there? Is your ex saying this or implying it in some way? Have your kids brought it up? Are family or friends making passive aggressive comments about it?

If so, I get why you might be feeling this pressure, especially if your relationship with him was abusive in any way.

But everyone in the thread, and your lawyer, is correct. Not only does this obligation not exist, but you NEED to stay out of it. If he does nothing to make his house a home for your kids, then he will reap the consequences of that. Your job is to focus on yourself and your kids, make your home what it needs to be to help them through this process, listen to your lawyer, and get your own ducks in a row.

And if anyone is suggesting to you that you owe this to him, distance yourself from that person (unless it's your kids, in which case their confusion is understandable and you should gently explain to them why you cannot help with this even though it is undoubtedly hard for them). This is not a reasonable ask, if it is indeed an ask anyone is making.[/quote]

Yes, his attorney sent my attorney an email earlier this month saying I was being hostile and uncooperative. [/quote]

That’s because your ex asked for that.  It doesn’t make it true.  It’s still just a bully calling people names.

- lawyer[/quote]

Ok, thank you. My attorney said as much but I’m not in law and so when I see an email from an attorney that who’s actively litigating against me accusing me of all sorts of things it’s intimidating and very scary. Which I guess was the point.[/quote]

Read up on post-separation abuse, because your STBX will attempt to use basically everything he can to continue to try and maintain control over you and the kids, and in some unfortunate ways the system is set up to allow it. Here's an example of some types of things that might happen:

https://www.ncdsv.org/uploads/1/4/2/2/142238266/2018-ncdsv-sh-postseparationpower-controlwheel-colorkey.pdf[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics