Reply to Does Low Libido= Lack of Attraction?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Np here.

I'll answer the question as you posed it OP.   Yes, for me, my low libido was a reflection of not really being attracted to my xH.

Here's the twist:  I was NEVER sexually attracted to him.  I married him for a lot of other reasons, and we got along well, and I respected him and we were friends and he is objectively decent looking and and and ....

But, I was never hot for him.  I never once looked at him and said, My god, I must rip off his clothes and go fuck him, pronto.    Be that as it may, I did in fact have sex with him as my buddy and fantasized about people I actually did lust after.   This was fine for several years.

Then, though, when the inevitable crises came up during married life, or just the day to day, and he became a little more callous, and took me for granted, well, let's just say that I began having "low libido."    What is worse than having ongoing sex with the same man who you're not attracted to?  YES!  Having sex with the same man you're not physically attracted to who treats you increasingly poorly.

So I stopped.[/quote]

Hmmm, I'm in a similar spot and i married my DH because he is a good man and I could see that he would be a good father one day.

My situation is different because my husband has always treated me like gold and remains a good husband, best friend, and excellent father. Problem is, he is my best friend and not my lover. I'm restless, but I could never hurt him.  He fulfills all of my emotional needs, but sexually, not so much.

If I could have an open marriage, I would be perfectly content. We've danced around the idea, but never truly discussed it. I don't think he could handle it, but for me I know I would be find with him screwing someone else, as long as he came home to me.[/quote]

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