Reply to DW never wants sex during the holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is how it works, OP. You take initiative, and you complete a task without being directed. You can also take initiative to reduce or eliminate tasks, but only if it's things she doesn't really care about. Here are a few examples.

"Honey, I have talked with my siblings and we agreed not to do gifts this year. Instead, we will all do donations to the food bank. I will buy cards, put donation receipts in each card, and address and mail them so that they arrive before Christmas." -- and you say this in mid-December.

"Honey, I have gotten the outdoor lights down from the attic and tested to make sure they work. I was thinking of doing a little less this year, maybe just the house and not the shrubbery. What do you think of that idea?" -- and you say this in mid-December.

"Honey, I know you love to make the card we send. I went through our photos online and here are the five I like the best. I also updated our address book for my side of the family." -- and this can be done as early as mid-November and should definitely be completed by mid-December.

These are the kinds of things she will like. Because you're not making empty promises, about what you will do, you're saying "This is what I have already done", and you're doing it without being told, well before it's due, and when she still has an opportunity for feedback.
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If he's up in the attic looking for the lights in mid december,  he's about 2 weeks late.  OP's wife has already hung them up.  Also, telling someone to scale back on Christmas decor, or gifts, or entertaining, or baking, when she clearly wants to do those things because she likes Christmas, even if it means she doesn't have a lot of bandwidth for other stuff, isn't helpful.  It's minimizing what she enjoys and telling her that her efforts aren't appreciated.  And maybe you don't appreciate her putting on a big Christmas celebration.  But telling her to stop doing it, and expecing that she'll use that extra time in the day to blow you, is ridiculous. [/quote]

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