Reply to DW never wants sex during the holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's completely normal. Her social energy is all used up by the social obligations of the holidays. She doesn't have enough alone time and rest. Yes it's a special time to connect-- but with other people, not you. Because she lives with you all year long. You should be connecting with the other people that you are seeing, not increasing your demands on your wife.

You might think that telling her all of her efforts are stupid and pointless is the solution, but it isn't. You could consider taking on some of the workload, but only if you're going to do a good job and do it reliably and without being reminded. Otherwise you're just one more problem on her list. [/quote]

I don’t think that telling her that all of her efforts are stupid and pointless is good, but I think it’s fine to tell her that maybe they should dial it back as a couple.  
He’s her husband.  He is supposed to protect her and take care of her, at least somewhat.  He shouldn’t just watch while she makes herself crazy and exhausted.  [/quote]

You can try that, but what you're saying is "Don't do the things you have been doing, because I don't value them." That is not going to put her in the mood. It only makes her feel unappreciated and alone. He should offer up something that *he* values to be eliminated or taken over by him. [/quote]

Right??  "i've noticed that after planning christmas dinner, preparing for visiting adult children, gift buying and wrapping, food shopping, decorating, sending holiday cards, calling all of our out of town relatives, and socializing with our adult kids, our siblings, our adult kids partners, and going to a few holiday parties over the past week, you dont want to have sex with me on christmas eve.  can we next year just skip all that stuff so we can have sex on christmas eve?"[/quote]

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