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[quote=Anonymous]I feel like other posters are acknowledging that OP has these feelings and deals with them for other adult males but not grandfather. Just stay vigilant. Also shirt off? I thought that was a big no from all the other posts about young boys having shirts off in house but girls cant? 
If its constant touching plus taking her from where she is happy- that triggers me as well, and I am not an abuse survivor. Any chance he is manipulative?

The best thing you can do is encourage all the normal things to avoid abuse. Dont do sleepovers. No closed door play. No doctor play between adults and children. Children can be the doctor. All in an open space with supervision. If they want to play doctor they can also do vet instead on stuffed animals. No requirement for affection. No secrets. No child with an adult under a blanket. Dont allow manipulaiton tactics to encourage separation from mom or dad like candy, toys, etc. especially if the kid is content. If granddad wants to play he can interact while shes on moms lap. Its a red flag to me if he is conditioning her to separate when she is happy and content especially if he gets whiny or pouty with facial expressions. That's early tactics.

And if granddad gets upset, he can be upset. His actions are normalizing those types of behaviors even if he is not an abuser himself. [/quote]

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