Reply to Starting a new role soon and family is expecting "financial gifts"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you AA? This is common in the AA community, unfortunately, and there are a lot of reasons for that.  I’m sorry OP.[/quote]

I was thinking Hispanic [/quote]

Op here, I'm African American. My ex is Hispanic and this is common in that culture as well. We'll never get ahead by helping people who can't or won't help themselves. [/quote]

Traditional Asian cultures too. Have 3 coworkers (Korean, Vietnamese, and Chinese) who got completely financially screwed by greedy parents and inlaws. One ended up in foreclosure because he would not set boundaries.[/quote]

I'm Asian and don't know anyone who leeches off more successful relatives. My Vietnamese husband does send money to his home country to distant relatives he's never met, but not more than he can afford, and they never ask rudely - it's just understood that a gesture from the diaspora is the right thing to do for the people who couldn't get out during the war. He put a niece through law school over there (much cheaper than here!).

However I can see how traditional family cultures - ie, MOST of the world! - would have a subset of entitled people who feel they can ask their wealthier relatives for money. It happens in Westernized (US and Europe) cultures as well, but perhaps not as frequently, since these cultures have more fractured family bonds.

Anyway. This is about boundaries and managing expectations. Put your own mask on, OP. Build up your wealth, and then you can play benevolent donor. We never helped any of our relatives when we were clawing our way up the ladder!!!

[/quote]

Really this behavior is RAMPANT among low income folks. That's how people never escape poverty. Bunch of people that drag them back into it. [/quote]

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