Reply to For women, having a great dad is like winning the lottery

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[quote=Anonymous]The reason absent and/or abusive dads are a bigger problem than absent/abusive moms is that there are just more of them.

Obviously someone with an absent or abusive mom is also going to have challenges in life. But the absent dad, or the mean dad with rage issues, is a trope because it happens too often.

Both of my parents were physically abusive and absent in different ways (my dad was just not around much, my mom had untreated depression and just withdrew from us and was emotionally absent a lot). But my mom was still way kinder and more present by a lot. As a mom myself now, there are still some positive parenting skills I learned from my mom, for instance.

My dad just never had any interest in me at all except to rage at me if I inconvenienced him. I use to think I'd processed that and gotten over it via therapy in my 20s. Now in my 40s and a parent myself, I've had to come to terms with it again in deeper ways.

My husband isn't like this but I do think he has the same tendencies as my dad. It's just it's 2025 and social expectations are different. I think if my DH were a dad in the 70s or early 80s, her do a lot of the same stuff my dad did.[/quote]

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